Discriminatory parent pays for son to go to elite private school, refuses to consider it for 15-year-old daughter: 'I am concerned this could cause her to lose her morals'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 15, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Unfortunately, it is extremely common for parents to treat their kids differently solely based on their gender. This usually doesn't end well for anyone involved, especially when this treatment boils down to missing out on worthwhile opportunities. Many moms and dads have some unsubtle biases that can show up in very questionable ways.

This is something that one teenage girl had the misfortune of dealing with recently when she began to raise questions about her education. Her older brother had been sent to an elite co-ed private school while she went to a less prestigious all-girls school. She decided that as it was a financially viable option, she wanted to go to the school her brother went to as well but her parents didn't see the benefit. Redditors were almost entirely on her side regarding this issue. You can't limit the education of your children without a good reason behind it.

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    Cheezburger Image 10416318464
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to switch my daughter to another school.
    via InformationDecent151
  • 03
    I have a daughter (15F). She was always happy with her school and has good friends. Some years ago when my son was her age, I switched him to an elite private school. Not because I thought the education was better but they follow an international curriculum based on the UK system and this is helpful for applying to international universities who recognize the system. My son will be studying engineering abroad.
    via InformationDecent151
  • 04
    At the time when my son changed schools my daughter said she was happy not to switch schools and said it would be hard to make new friends etc. However now since he started attending she has gotten jealous and started reading his textbooks especially the science ones and going through things like the yearbook.
    via InformationDecent151
  • 05
    She is now upset with me because I refused to switch her to the school even though she herself at the time said she was happy where she was. While I can afford it, the education isn't really better and I only sent my son there so that foreign universities recognize the credential better.
    via InformationDecent151
  • 06
    Furthermore the school environment would be quite different. She goes to a girls only school and this is co-ed and most of the girls at the school are foreigners with different values and usually the kids of diplomats and embassy workers and the boys are either the kids of diplomats or the ultra rich locals and I am concerned this could cause her to either not fit in or lose her morals. AITA here
    via InformationDecent151
  • 07
    Banana MilkshakeB tt YTA YTA YTA!!!! 1. You say the "school isn't any better" and claim you sent your son there so "that foreign universities recognize the credential better". So it is better, clearly, you just don't see your daughter going to university, let alone one aboard. Why is that? Do you always undermine her? 2. "could cause her to either not fit in or lose her morals" As everyone else said, why are you not concerned with your son losing his morals? What are these other children getting
    via BananaMilkshakeBtt
  • 08
    Overall, you're sexist. That is what it is. You view your daughter in a different light to your son. You belive she is at risk of "losing her morals" but you don't worry that your son might either, or is it you wouldn't care if he did? Secondly, you seem to undermine her as a student - clearly you don't think she go to uni or one aboard, but if you keep treating your daughter in a limited capacity, that is all she will achieve in life. YTA, a sexist one at that, you can make this right by sendin
    via BananaMilkshakeBtt
  • 09
    SkyLightk23 Especially because she was checking the science books and even though she likes her current school with her current friends she wanted to switch schools. This is not mere jealousy. She wasn't checking the pastry menu. She was checking the educational text. I hope this is one of those fake posts because it really annoyed me to read the blatant sexism. YTA
    via SkyLightk23
  • 10
    growsonwalls Info: are you worried about son "losing his morals" at his den of sin school?
    via growsonwalls
  • 11
    Kaynico ΥΤΑ When she was younger and school was more about friends than education, she was fine with staying where she was. Now that she's the same age as your son was when he switched schools, she's looking through his textbooks and realizing that it's far better opportunities.....yet you want to deny her that because she would be transferring out of an all girls school and "losing her morals." This is probably the single most sexist thing I've read from a parent on this sub.
    via Kaynico
  • 12
    cheeseburgerbunny The daughter is older now and looking to her future and OP is holding her in the past when she was younger. OP is not giving her any credit for wanting to grow and learn. What parent does that other than a hypocritical one?
    via cheeseburgerbunny
  • 13
    RZHO YTA. The other boys may be local, and a lot of the girls are of foreign diploma type (compared to local, rich people). Do you not trust in the parenting you did of your daughter up until now? That you don't trust her? She'll just lose all morals she has built over the years with the help of her family and friends? How is this not a concern when you sent your son? You trust your daughters judgement? Education is important. You say the quality of the education is the same, but you sent your s
    via RZH0
  • 14
    Apart-Ad-6518 ΥΤΑ I am concerned this could cause her to either not fit in or lose her morals. That alone makes you the A H. It isn't ok that you think it's ok to deny your daughter opportunities she now says she wants that you're giving your son. Plus you don't seem concerned about him "losing his morals." Why?
    via Apart-Ad-6518
  • 15
    Jennifer Juniperб I wonder what OP thinks the children of diplomats get up to at school.
    via JenniferJuniper6
  • 16
    discoduck007 ΥΤΑ Some of your justification for not sending her to this school sounds gender biased or even sexist as you said the girls who attend are one type of person and the boys who go there are another. If the advantage gained by attending this new school is better for your son's future would it not also expand the opportunities for your daughter? It seems natural for her to change her mind after seeing her brother get this opportunity. Wouldn't she also be able to maintain her current fr
    via discoduck007
  • 17
    CupcakeMurder86 It's a pretty AH move not to give you daughter the same opportunity as you son. The excuses you find about "losing herself" or "lose her morals" etc it seems that you don't trust her at all. If you daughter has her own morals, is a good kid that knows her rights from wrongs, then what's your reason from not trusting her going to a school that's different? You also seems to think that because the new school is co-ed she will go "boy crazy" hormonal and basically every kid. Not to
    via CupcakeMurder86
  • 18
    Necessary-Corner3171 And nothing bad ever happens at a girls school that would cause your daughter to "lose her morals"? YTA for that comment alone.
    via Necessary-Corner3171
  • 19
    Loki_the_Corgi YTA. I was with you until the last two paragraphs, which is where you showed your true colors. Why does it matter that your son gets university credentials, but your daughter doesn't? This is a very sexist and misogynistic view. Your comment about morals when shifting to a co-ed school had my jaw dropping on the floor. You're absolutely dense as all only are you showing favorites between your kids, but you're being a complete misogynyst while doing it. I hope your daughter sees yo
    via Loki_the_Corgi
  • 20
    eowynsheiress YTA. Switch her if you can afford it. Why is your son's education the priority? Remember she is a child and allowed to change her mind. I would let her change her mind just this once because you already know it's the better education.
    via eowynsheiress

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school parenting aita private school predjudice reddit thread daughter Reddit son
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